by The Macalope @

The Macalope is sorry to report that Apple will be shipping another iPhone this year. Ugh. Sorry.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and cut-rate bar mitzvah DJ training academy, Ewan Spence tells us how the “Disappointing iPhone 8 Leaks Are Key To Apple’s Boring Success.” (Tip o’ the antlers to SamT, David VPhilip Speicher and @JonyIveParody.)

Dullesville, Calif. Population: Apple. Main exports: these boring iPhones no one likes.

Expectations are rising that Apple’s new iPhone 8 will be packed full of magical hardware and technological advances to create an all-powerful flagship smartphone.

But, nope.